a few questions.. - what do you do when a girl you've been talking to and really like for about 3 months..but she has no time for you because of her son (who is about 10yrs old) and shes a single mom....She has stood me up several times and Ive forgiven her, but im getting so discouraged, because I really like her, but not sure how much more I can take..what do you do, do you wait around and see if shes ever gonna have time for me or something else? I need your help!
Thanks so much for taking out time to help viewers like me
People make time for the things that are important to them. With that being said, don't think that you can come and automatically change their routine, Imagine if everyone that she dated she let change the lifestyle that she is creating for her son. I take that you are not a mother. I am not as well.
It is really important that you take the time to get to know this woman 100%. Her child is a major part of her.
Now to the question that is being asked... Should you leave/stay? I think that you should date casually, I understand that she has to make time for her son, but she also has to cater to your needs. It is unacceptable to be continually stood up. On the other hand you let her. You are setting a standard for how you want to be treated. Seeing someone for 3 months is a short time. Either is works or it does not. This is still supposed to be the honeymoon stage for the both of you. We have to learn to let go of unhealthy relationships.
Hope you are well. I have found your question/answer videos very insightful in the past, so thought why not write you with an issue my friend is having because I am at a loss of what to do. For the past two years, one of my closest friends (who self-identifies as a lesbian/hard stud) has been in a relationship with a woman who claims she is bisexual, but in my opinion is simply straight and sexually open when it benefits her. I hate identifying for others, but as a queer woman myself I take great offense to straight women who say they are bisexual, but will never be in a relationship with another woman or treat another woman with the same respect/boundaries with which they treat men who are interested/pursuing them. Basically, what it comes down to is this straight woman tells my friend that she is in love with her and they are best friends (that occasionally sleep together), but then is still actively looking for a man and sleeps with lots of men. She refuses to admit that my friend and her are in any sort of relationship, and has even told people that my friend is a 'crazy lesbian' at times in order to make it seem that their 'relationship' is all in my friend's head. This woman acts possessive and jealous of my friend and gets made if she is not prioritized- she calls my friend numerous times throughout the day just to say she loves her, even when she is on dates with men or has just slept with them. She also has accepted money and childcare on a regular basis from my friend and gets mad when my friend is unable to support her or help her out financially. Besides that, she always writes loves notes on her facebook and other public pages to make her presence known. Needless to say all of this is preventing my friend from meeting new women who are actually interested in dating her and not just using her.
This whole mess has been going on for two years and it has made my friend depressed, insecure, and a pretty un-fun person. She will have two week periods where she is fed-up and tries to break away from this straight woman, but then the woman will call her sobbing saying she misses her friendship and can't they just be friends. They will become 'friends' again and then if my friend doesn't show her enough attention the woman will sleep with her to basically reel her back in (in my opinion). I don't know if this woman is simply ridiculously insecure or manipulative or both, but at this point I do not care. No grown person, no matter how confused or unhappy they are with their own life should be able to treat another person as she does my friend. That being said, no adult should allow another person to use them so blatantly for years.
I don't know what, if anything, I can do. Me and her other close friends have tried to get some sense into her head, but she keeps going back to this woman no matter how awful she is treated. I tried to be supportive and just listen to my friend when she was upset time and time again, then I tried being honest and letting her know that after a certain point she really could only blame herself because this straight woman has been consistent and she is allowing herself to be used, but it has been two years and it is still happening! I know its harder when you are in these sort of situations, but this woman has never, and will never, actually date my friend and my friend is very traditional in that she wants a monogamous wife one day. What, if anything, can I say or do? I wish it didn't bother me so much, because i know adults need to be able to lead their own lives, but my friend has become obsessed and depressed and is no longer the great woman she was before getting involved in this whole mess. At times I wonder if we can still be good friends, which I know is shitty, but the whole situation is beyond ridiculous and I am losing respect for my friend which makes me feel guilty.
Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
OK I'm 32 w/ kids she is 31w/ kids we all live in the same house. Were two femms more so me she is. A very soft stud so she attracts a lot of woman OK right in the middle of our relationship when things were great she would take me and the kids out often buy me gifts random then she took a seasonal job @around Christmas time it was all good until she begin to literally sleep with her phone I brought her so I took a look @the bill just to find out that she was texting this young lady who she claim to have went to school with so. I Checked it out it was a lie so every since then I have been up tight when she leaves or is on _the. Phone there has been more then one incident with this same girl emails and secret meetings @ her Best friends house which makes me not trust her best friend now plus she's not gay and she always have something negative to say when we argue and my girl doesn't seem to think that's a problem that I don't really have anyone to vent _to because all my friends are single and straight so the frustration is heavy I recently packed up and left but two days later I'm back but it feels so strange we are not into each other like we were she's always on the phone with high-school friends I never met. Or online talking is almost nonexistent I love her and really want to fix things but when I watch your videos I just feel its over does she still want me ? oh and I have only been with two other woman sexually only but after dating her I'm not wanting to be with men any more but that's all that hit on me help honey BII plz
Honey B wrote:
Give me more information about the situation. What happened? What are your prior trust issues. I look forward from hearing from you :) XOXO Honey Bii
Hi I really enjoy ur u tube videos and want to know how to forgive my partner. Of 2 1/2 yrs for an alledge affair I haven't yet proved she cheated but I love her and yes this is my first live in relationship with a woman I wanna move out and get my own place but afraid because of the prior trust issues.
I just turned 22 n I'm still living with my mom. I've been sheltered my entire life and I feel like its time for me to move forward in life instead of staying stuck like I am,plus my mom hates that I like women. Most of my friends are gay, but I don't hang with them because of her. I mean I could but when I come back home I still gotta hear her mouth and I hate it ugh! I'm also conflicted with the fact that I love women and I'm also a Christian. Please help me. I just don't know what to do it's so confusing and hard. I have not been in a relationship since 2008. My first love broke my heart and now it's like anybody else for dumb stupid reason, I compare them to her. Ugh. It's crazy because my mom liked my girlfriend until I told her she was my gf. Please if you can help me to figure out what I should do?
Peace and Love
I want to first state that being open with your sexuality can be quite challenging. I commend the effort that you have taken to be yourself.
When it comes to parents, it is a difficult situation to deal with. Parents for the most part want the best for their children. With that being said, it is your life to live. I would start off by living on your own. It is easier for someone to have control over your life when they are providing for you. We have all heard the saying, "If you in my house, you go by my rules."
The next step that I would take is to have an open discussion with your mom. Let her know that you are serious and need not only to be heard, but to be listened to. If you are uncomfortable with pulling her aside then write a letter. I would state to her that this is the last time that you are going to explain your sexuality to her. Either she is going to support you or not. No "ifs", "ands", or "buts". If she wants to have an open loving relatinship with you then she needs to recognize this part of your life as well.
You can view a video blog that I did on Christianity on my page. That is an entire discussion on its own. I included it for you.
In conclusion, remember that you are only 22. You have years to figure out relationship issues. Take it one day at a time. There is somebody out there for everyone. Make sure that whoever you are with is open with their sexuality, loving, and makes you feel positive when you are with them.
This was inspired from the color complex issues that we still have in the black community. Here is the video link http://vimeo.com/24155797. As Directed by Bill Duke and D. Channsin Berry: these are clips from the upcoming documentary exploring the deep-seated biases and attitudes about skin color---particularly dark skinned women, outside of and within the Black American culture.
I am in my mid 20s and I got out a relationship with a women about 6months ago and I've recently began dating again. I was approached by a women that found me attractive, and I was also very attracted to her as well. As this women approaches me she states that she is "new to this" and further explains that she has never been with a women before, but has often had thoughts about being with women. I began to talk to her on a some what regular basis first just answering her questions then we grew to get to know each other on a more personal level. It has been about a month and we both noticed we formed a connection and often thought about one another. At this point my feelings have gotten involved and I have pretty much developed a crush on this women, but I am hesitant to continue talking to her afraid that she might just be curious sexually. I have heard many stories and advice from others not to pursue women that are curious because you will get hurt and it is just an experiment. So my question to you is what should I do? Should I pursue this women or should I just ignore my feelings before they get to deep and just have a friendship?
So me and my sweetie have been together for almost a year and it has been wonderful. I see true longevity here. I'm at the point of the relationship that trust and honesty need to be guaranteed if we're really going to do this for the long run. So what did I do, go through her phone. Yeah, I'm disappointed in my actions but its the guaranteed way to find out the real deal with your mate. Judge me later.
In her texts I found out that she has still been communicating with a "friend" of hers that she used to date. About a month ago we had an argument over this situation because I don't necessarily think its fair that she can be friends with someone she used to sleep with but would have a fit if I did the same thing. Now in all fairness I do know that they are just friends now, but I think its a respect thing too. I choose not to hang with any of my ex's or old Boos because I think it would be disrespectful. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but any time two people are intimate with one another, I think its rather difficult (not impossible) to go to a platonic relationship.
Any way back to the subject: So I found out that they're still talking but she told me she was going to stop communicating with her. (Although I didn't say she had to. this was her decision). Now I'm pissed because she lied to me. But I cant say anything because I was snooping in her phone. What to do HoneyBii. Help!
I am a Lesbian woman. I came out to my children about years ago. They flipped out. It took awhile for them to deal with the fact that their mother is gay. I couldn't understand why they had a problem accepting me because a lot of our family is gay. ( fast forward) I came the other day and my daughter wanted me to meet one of her friends. So I walked into her room and I seen an "obvious lesbian" sitting in the chair. I almost hit the floor. I was confused, my daughter was the number one person protesting about me being gay. I just stood there and stared at this girl. When her company left I ask her what was the deal with the girl. She told me the girl liked her, I said to her but your not gay? right?. She said that her and the girl have been in a relationship for about a month. ( shocked again) I had a long talk with her and talked about the discrimination she will experience and etc, etc..
To be honest I don't like it at all, I'm confused and a little angry over her choice to be gay, but I know I Know you are saying I'm gay. I just don't understand why I have a problem with it. Please some advice with this. Also, I told her don't tell her siblings about this...
I was fine not being in a relationship. Cut to 2011 and finding myself pushing real hard up on 30. I'm content. But there is this quiet sense of urgency now that wasn't there when I was 25. Along with that urgency suddenly came a desire, no, more like craving, to be in a real live, grown-up, we-ain't-got-to-make-babies-but-we-still-can-make-plans relationship. So here I am, doing things like moving my bed away from the wall and putting stands at both sides so I'm sending out an energy that indicates I am looking for a relationship (it's a feng shui thing I think). And I'm also being more social so that I'm meeting more people and more people are meeting me. [Any advice you can give about getting a date would be appreciated too] But it all still feels so new to me. Along comes, I'll call him Jason. Jason is a 25 year old, super-fine and fun-loving Cuban dude I met at a friend's anniversary party recently. We hung out at the party and just had a good time. After some 'dranks' we started feeling ourselves which led to feeling each other. We didn't have sex but we did wake up next to each other. We made plans to make plans and have met up a few times since to finish what we started. We've been very clear that we are not looking for anything serious from each other and have been successful in respecting that. I enjoy the fun of it but now I'm beginning to wonder if I should be worried that engaging in this type of behavior is bad for the "relationship energy" I'm trying to give off. Much like the song with a similar title, I think that guys just wanna have fun too. But is having fun with him keeping me from having a relationship with someone else? Although I am very confident that I would not hesitate to stop messing around with this dude if a potential relationship came along should I be worried this is minimizing that opportunity? I'm trying to tap into my instinct about this situation but that seems to be telling me conflicting advice; I mean, with a dude this fine, it's difficult to tell which is speaking, the heart or the hard-on. Help.
So, I would like to ask your opinion. I am 26, I have my degree and have traveled the world. I have never been in a relationship before and I am starting to come out of my shell. I have a couple of friends who are lesbians and over the past couple of months I have been hanging with them a lot. I have even met other girls through them who I hang out with outside of my core group of friends. Anyways, I am attracted to women, I always have been, but I cant seem to put myself out there. There's this one girl who is really popular amongst the gay community and we have talked on and off a couple of times and I asked her is she wanted to go out and she eagerly agreed, that was a couple of weeks ago and we still have not gone out and I just cant seem to get it together. And I'll see all these attractive womenand we may exchange eye contact but Ill never approach them. I guess I should say that I would be more of the dominant one. I don't like classifications but if I had to classify myself it would be a soft stud, but not a tennis shoe and t shirt type, I'm a chino pants, loafers, fedora and aRalph Lauren rugby cardiganand some fly assRalph Lauren shades typeof chic lol. Okay back to it, I feel like everyone here knows everybody and I'm a low-key person, completely drama free and I do not want anyone in my business, which is why I think I haven't gone out with this girl. And when I meet other women out, its at a popular gay club where I live and to me its just too messy. I don't know if I'm being to particular or over thinking the situation, and I want to make a move but something in me is holding me back and all of my friends are telling me to just go for it. I don't know what to do or what I'm afraid of...I also have not talked to my family or other friends about this other life I live and I'm a very honest person and so I feel like I live a double and I hate it. I feel like I'm keeping secrets, but at the same time since I have not done anything with a female, I feel like there's nothing to tell....I mean what if I don't like it and its not for me, then why make something out of nothing, if I try it and it feels right, then I wont have a problem telling them, my family is very open and I don't think they'll be too surprised. Well enough ranting, but any feedback you give would be great.
This was inspired from one of my Bii-Lievers. Here is our conversation.
Thank you so much for following my blog!
Bii-Liever:
U are very much welcome...to be honest I need your blogs lol..Im slowly making the transformation from bi to lesbian
GET IT GIRL! More power to you.
Bii-Liever
Thanks babe! So ill be watching, taking notes, laughing and crying right along with u and your other followers..keep up the hard work!
BTW you just inspired me to do an upcoming post titled, "From Bi to Lesbian"!
Bii-Liever:
I LOVE IT!!!!
Dear Honey Bii,
This is my situation. I've been actively bisexual for about 6 years now. As Ive said before, I see myself becoming lesbian...and if I do so, then I want to inform my family. Only a few know about my bisexuality, because I've always felt like what i do behind closed doors is my business. But I'm in a new relationship, and refuse to hide her. My father is very religious, and I'm not sure how he will feel, and honestly I don't care too much. I just would like some advice on how to just put everything out there..HELP ME HONEY!!
I'm writing because I hope you share this with your followers or even just Free Flowers who is doing the Honey Bii Experiment! I have decided that every day this month I want to be a blessing to someone in some sort of way. It can be through words, a compliment, change for a homeless person, an extra hug, a casual conversation with someone that looks stressed...some way, I want to purposefully be a blessing. I think we always want blessings and we want happiness but aren't willing to go out in the world and create those same things for others. It should be at the TOP of our to-do lists. We aren't living in this world alone. We feed off of everyone's energy in this big wide world we live in--why not create as much positive energy as possible?
So...today, I sent a message to someone everyone hated in HS and basically told her she was beautiful. I told her I saw favor in her life. And I told her I hoped I could build her up the way everyone wants to tear each other down nowadays. She was random. Someone I picked out of the hat. Tomorrow I will do the same thing, in a different way, with a different random person. At the end of my message I finished it with a scripture and I asked her to pay it forward. Be a blessing to someone else. I'm hoping to start a movement. I want this to be a part of who I am. I know I'm nice and I usually get along with everyone but I want this to be so much of a habit that it becomes what I breathe. Be a blessing in order to actually get a blessing. Pay it forward. Positive out, positive in.
I love you. I hope you share. This is a moment that HAS to take place. I'm sure your blog can be what catapults it to the highest of heights.
This is exactly why I blog. Free_Flowers gets it. This is a follow-up video to a blog that I did explaining to a "Pillow Princess" how to work out some kinks that she has in her relationship. Free Flowers explained to me why she likes my blog. She captured the essence of me being a person first and being "Gay" doesn't define all of who I am.
Hi Honey!!! First let me say that I really enjoy your youtube channel and your blog! I have a question/need some advice! I am a female who recently started dating females. I've really only dated 3 women seriously. Most people would consider the woman I am dating right now a stud. We've been dating for about a month and a half. She is fresh out of a relationship and we've already discussed the fact that she is not ready to be in another one. I'm ok with how things are going right now, but am unsure how long it will last. (That's another story) We enjoy eachothers company and the sex is wonderful, but since I'm a "newbie" she has taken it upon herself to "do all of the work". She has never been with a man and has no interest in being penetrated, I toally respect that. However, she is into receiving oral pleasure....ok....I've never done it...help!!! I have no idea where to start, porn isn't helping, I don't really have any one to ask. When I try to ask her she says "just do what I do to you, without sticking ur fingers or tongue in me"...ummmmmmmm what? Help meeeeeee!
Here is an inbox question that I received from one of my Bii-Lievers.
Yo Honey Bii,
I need some advice... I'm and ready to settle down...but i dont think i would be happy yet?? Sometimes i just like being a h**(even tho im not f-ing any other females) i just like keeping my options open...a part of me would like to be with my gf..but i seeing other females i would like to f*** on sight.....and these girls are strippers..(lol) idk what it is.. I think i just need to f*** one..idk :/but i need some advice... k
Hey Bii! whats up with you? I was on the blog site and by the way I really love it. Glad you created it. The sex toys videos are crazy!!!! Well here is what I am going through with this woman. I have been messing with this chick since like September and it started ok we vibed in every way. The meat of it is that she tells me she wants to be with me and all that. She loves me but my problem is that I want to be all about her but she can't seem to leave this other bitch alone. I just don't know how to let this shit go with her. I get tired of her wanting to be around when she wants and steady telling me oh she(talking about the other girl) don't want me contacting you, yet still she calls me and all that. I know you probably think I'm stupid as hell, its just I love this girl for real. I didn't expect to fall for her but i did. I say to myself like why do you put yourself through this shit. She must care more about this chick than me because she cares about what she thinks, and what she sees and all that. I mean we got into it real bad because she said out her mouth everybody knows I have 2 bitches. What should I do Bii!........
So I was asked by one of my "Bii-Liever's" what I put on my skin. I am going to list a couple of products that I use within my my daily routine when I get up. Nothing extravagant. That's my style: simple and sophisticated.
This is an inexpensive body wash that I love to use. This won't leave a residue on your skin. It also won't strip your body of it's natural moisture.
Make sure that you use some sort of moisturizing cream. I use Nivea because it feels good on my skin. I also use the product because it seems to last without having to reapply constantly. I can put this on without feeling a residue left on my skin.
I was put on this by my babe. I love it. It makes your skin feel extra silky. I love to put this on right after a shower. It has a little surprise in each canister too. The love butter has a stick of cinnamon in it. There are a variety of different ones. My second favorite is the almond cookie. That one has a little piece of almond on the top <3
This is an exfoliating scrub that I use every once in a while. I put a heavy emphasis on every once in a while. Do not over do it. I think that a lot of the time people have issues with their skin because they over do it with products. This can be used maybe once a week to get the dead skin off.
I use this to fade blemishes. I am pretty sure that most of us has seen this in a cabinet or two. I love this because it has been passed down through generations. Cocoa butter by far is the best blemish remover. It actually nourishes your skin as well.
