This 51 year old man was allowed to marry a 16 year old girl. Here are my thoughts.
XOXO Honey Bii
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
She Has A 10 Year Old Son
Should I stay or leave?
People make time for the things that are important to them. With that being said, don't think that you can come and automatically change their routine, Imagine if everyone that she dated she let change the lifestyle that she is creating for her son. I take that you are not a mother. I am not as well.It is really important that you take the time to get to know this woman 100%. Her child is a major part of her.
Now to the question that is being asked... Should you leave/stay? I think that you should date casually, I understand that she has to make time for her son, but she also has to cater to your needs. It is unacceptable to be continually stood up. On the other hand you let her. You are setting a standard for how you want to be treated. Seeing someone for 3 months is a short time. Either is works or it does not. This is still supposed to be the honeymoon stage for the both of you. We have to learn to let go of unhealthy relationships.
XOXO Honey Bii
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Dating Advice
"Do you have any suggestions as to what I can do to meet more mature educated black women?? Before you met your current girlfriend what were some of the things you would do to meet the people you like??.."
XOXO Honey Bii
Our advice on where to find people to date.
XOXO Honey Bii
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Stay Out Of Your Friends Business
Dear Honey Bii,
Hope you are well. I have found your question/answer videos very insightful in the past, so thought why not write you with an issue my friend is having because I am at a loss of what to do. For the past two years, one of my closest friends (who self-identifies as a lesbian/hard stud) has been in a relationship with a woman who claims she is bisexual, but in my opinion is simply straight and sexually open when it benefits her. I hate identifying for others, but as a queer woman myself I take great offense to straight women who say they are bisexual, but will never be in a relationship with another woman or treat another woman with the same respect/boundaries with which they treat men who are interested/pursuing them. Basically, what it comes down to is this straight woman tells my friend that she is in love with her and they are best friends (that occasionally sleep together), but then is still actively looking for a man and sleeps with lots of men. She refuses to admit that my friend and her are in any sort of relationship, and has even told people that my friend is a 'crazy lesbian' at times in order to make it seem that their 'relationship' is all in my friend's head. This woman acts possessive and jealous of my friend and gets made if she is not prioritized- she calls my friend numerous times throughout the day just to say she loves her, even when she is on dates with men or has just slept with them. She also has accepted money and childcare on a regular basis from my friend and gets mad when my friend is unable to support her or help her out financially. Besides that, she always writes loves notes on her facebook and other public pages to make her presence known. Needless to say all of this is preventing my friend from meeting new women who are actually interested in dating her and not just using her.
This whole mess has been going on for two years and it has made my friend depressed, insecure, and a pretty un-fun person. She will have two week periods where she is fed-up and tries to break away from this straight woman, but then the woman will call her sobbing saying she misses her friendship and can't they just be friends. They will become 'friends' again and then if my friend doesn't show her enough attention the woman will sleep with her to basically reel her back in (in my opinion). I don't know if this woman is simply ridiculously insecure or manipulative or both, but at this point I do not care. No grown person, no matter how confused or unhappy they are with their own life should be able to treat another person as she does my friend. That being said, no adult should allow another person to use them so blatantly for years.
I don't know what, if anything, I can do. Me and her other close friends have tried to get some sense into her head, but she keeps going back to this woman no matter how awful she is treated. I tried to be supportive and just listen to my friend when she was upset time and time again, then I tried being honest and letting her know that after a certain point she really could only blame herself because this straight woman has been consistent and she is allowing herself to be used, but it has been two years and it is still happening! I know its harder when you are in these sort of situations, but this woman has never, and will never, actually date my friend and my friend is very traditional in that she wants a monogamous wife one day. What, if anything, can I say or do? I wish it didn't bother me so much, because i know adults need to be able to lead their own lives, but my friend has become obsessed and depressed and is no longer the great woman she was before getting involved in this whole mess. At times I wonder if we can still be good friends, which I know is shitty, but the whole situation is beyond ridiculous and I am losing respect for my friend which makes me feel guilty.
Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
Hope you are well. I have found your question/answer videos very insightful in the past, so thought why not write you with an issue my friend is having because I am at a loss of what to do. For the past two years, one of my closest friends (who self-identifies as a lesbian/hard stud) has been in a relationship with a woman who claims she is bisexual, but in my opinion is simply straight and sexually open when it benefits her. I hate identifying for others, but as a queer woman myself I take great offense to straight women who say they are bisexual, but will never be in a relationship with another woman or treat another woman with the same respect/boundaries with which they treat men who are interested/pursuing them. Basically, what it comes down to is this straight woman tells my friend that she is in love with her and they are best friends (that occasionally sleep together), but then is still actively looking for a man and sleeps with lots of men. She refuses to admit that my friend and her are in any sort of relationship, and has even told people that my friend is a 'crazy lesbian' at times in order to make it seem that their 'relationship' is all in my friend's head. This woman acts possessive and jealous of my friend and gets made if she is not prioritized- she calls my friend numerous times throughout the day just to say she loves her, even when she is on dates with men or has just slept with them. She also has accepted money and childcare on a regular basis from my friend and gets mad when my friend is unable to support her or help her out financially. Besides that, she always writes loves notes on her facebook and other public pages to make her presence known. Needless to say all of this is preventing my friend from meeting new women who are actually interested in dating her and not just using her.
This whole mess has been going on for two years and it has made my friend depressed, insecure, and a pretty un-fun person. She will have two week periods where she is fed-up and tries to break away from this straight woman, but then the woman will call her sobbing saying she misses her friendship and can't they just be friends. They will become 'friends' again and then if my friend doesn't show her enough attention the woman will sleep with her to basically reel her back in (in my opinion). I don't know if this woman is simply ridiculously insecure or manipulative or both, but at this point I do not care. No grown person, no matter how confused or unhappy they are with their own life should be able to treat another person as she does my friend. That being said, no adult should allow another person to use them so blatantly for years.
I don't know what, if anything, I can do. Me and her other close friends have tried to get some sense into her head, but she keeps going back to this woman no matter how awful she is treated. I tried to be supportive and just listen to my friend when she was upset time and time again, then I tried being honest and letting her know that after a certain point she really could only blame herself because this straight woman has been consistent and she is allowing herself to be used, but it has been two years and it is still happening! I know its harder when you are in these sort of situations, but this woman has never, and will never, actually date my friend and my friend is very traditional in that she wants a monogamous wife one day. What, if anything, can I say or do? I wish it didn't bother me so much, because i know adults need to be able to lead their own lives, but my friend has become obsessed and depressed and is no longer the great woman she was before getting involved in this whole mess. At times I wonder if we can still be good friends, which I know is shitty, but the whole situation is beyond ridiculous and I am losing respect for my friend which makes me feel guilty.
Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
XOXO Honey Bii
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Stages Of Love
Here are the different stages of love that I have went through in my committed relationships.
XOXO Honey Bii
XOXO Honey Bii
Thursday, June 2, 2011
I Think My Girlfriend Is Cheating
OK I'm 32 w/ kids she is 31w/ kids we all live in the same house. Were two femms more so me she is. A very soft stud so she attracts a lot of woman OK right in the middle of our relationship when things were great she would take me and the kids out often buy me gifts random then she took a seasonal job @around Christmas time it was all good until she begin to literally sleep with her phone I brought her so I took a look @the bill just to find out that she was texting this young lady who she claim to have went to school with so. I Checked it out it was a lie so every since then I have been up tight when she leaves or is on _the. Phone there has been more then one incident with this same girl emails and secret meetings @ her Best friends house which makes me not trust her best friend now plus she's not gay and she always have something negative to say when we argue and my girl doesn't seem to think that's a problem that I don't really have anyone to vent _to because all my friends are single and straight so the frustration is heavy I recently packed up and left but two days later I'm back but it feels so strange we are not into each other like we were she's always on the phone with high-school friends I never met. Or online talking is almost nonexistent I love her and really want to fix things but when I watch your videos I just feel its over does she still want me ? oh and I have only been with two other woman sexually only but after dating her I'm not wanting to be with men any more but that's all that hit on me help honey BII plz
Honey B wrote:
Give me more information about the situation. What happened? What are your prior trust issues. I look forward from hearing from you :)
XOXO Honey Bii
Hi I really enjoy ur u tube videos and want to know how to forgive my partner.
Of 2 1/2 yrs for an alledge affair I haven't yet proved she cheated but I love
her and yes this is my first live in relationship with a woman I wanna move out
and get my own place but afraid because of the prior trust issues.
Honey B wrote:
Give me more information about the situation. What happened? What are your prior trust issues. I look forward from hearing from you :)
XOXO Honey Bii
Hi I really enjoy ur u tube videos and want to know how to forgive my partner.
Of 2 1/2 yrs for an alledge affair I haven't yet proved she cheated but I love
her and yes this is my first live in relationship with a woman I wanna move out
and get my own place but afraid because of the prior trust issues.
XOXO Honey Bii
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
22 And Confused
Letter from a Bii-Liever.
I just turned 22 n I'm still living with my mom. I've been sheltered my entire life and I feel like its time for me to move forward in life instead of staying stuck like I am,plus my mom hates that I like women. Most of my friends are gay, but I don't hang with them because of her. I mean I could but when I come back home I still gotta hear her mouth and I hate it ugh! I'm also conflicted with the fact that I love women and I'm also a Christian. Please help me. I just don't know what to do it's so confusing and hard. I have not been in a relationship since 2008. My first love broke my heart and now it's like anybody else for dumb stupid reason, I compare them to her. Ugh. It's crazy because my mom liked my girlfriend until I told her she was my gf. Please if you can help me to figure out what I should do?
Peace and Love
I want to first state that being open with your sexuality can be quite challenging. I commend the effort that you have taken to be yourself.
When it comes to parents, it is a difficult situation to deal with. Parents for the most part want the best for their children. With that being said, it is your life to live. I would start off by living on your own. It is easier for someone to have control over your life when they are providing for you. We have all heard the saying, "If you in my house, you go by my rules."
The next step that I would take is to have an open discussion with your mom. Let her know that you are serious and need not only to be heard, but to be listened to. If you are uncomfortable with pulling her aside then write a letter. I would state to her that this is the last time that you are going to explain your sexuality to her. Either she is going to support you or not. No "ifs", "ands", or "buts". If she wants to have an open loving relatinship with you then she needs to recognize this part of your life as well.
You can view a video blog that I did on Christianity on my page. That is an entire discussion on its own. I included it for you.
In conclusion, remember that you are only 22. You have years to figure out relationship issues. Take it one day at a time. There is somebody out there for everyone. Make sure that whoever you are with is open with their sexuality, loving, and makes you feel positive when you are with them.
XOXO Honey Bii
I just turned 22 n I'm still living with my mom. I've been sheltered my entire life and I feel like its time for me to move forward in life instead of staying stuck like I am,plus my mom hates that I like women. Most of my friends are gay, but I don't hang with them because of her. I mean I could but when I come back home I still gotta hear her mouth and I hate it ugh! I'm also conflicted with the fact that I love women and I'm also a Christian. Please help me. I just don't know what to do it's so confusing and hard. I have not been in a relationship since 2008. My first love broke my heart and now it's like anybody else for dumb stupid reason, I compare them to her. Ugh. It's crazy because my mom liked my girlfriend until I told her she was my gf. Please if you can help me to figure out what I should do?
Peace and Love
I want to first state that being open with your sexuality can be quite challenging. I commend the effort that you have taken to be yourself.
When it comes to parents, it is a difficult situation to deal with. Parents for the most part want the best for their children. With that being said, it is your life to live. I would start off by living on your own. It is easier for someone to have control over your life when they are providing for you. We have all heard the saying, "If you in my house, you go by my rules."
The next step that I would take is to have an open discussion with your mom. Let her know that you are serious and need not only to be heard, but to be listened to. If you are uncomfortable with pulling her aside then write a letter. I would state to her that this is the last time that you are going to explain your sexuality to her. Either she is going to support you or not. No "ifs", "ands", or "buts". If she wants to have an open loving relatinship with you then she needs to recognize this part of your life as well.
You can view a video blog that I did on Christianity on my page. That is an entire discussion on its own. I included it for you.
In conclusion, remember that you are only 22. You have years to figure out relationship issues. Take it one day at a time. There is somebody out there for everyone. Make sure that whoever you are with is open with their sexuality, loving, and makes you feel positive when you are with them.
XOXO Honey Bii
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Dark Skin Girls
This was inspired from the color complex issues that we still have in the black community. Here is the video link http://vimeo.com/24155797. As Directed by Bill Duke and D. Channsin Berry: these are clips from the upcoming documentary exploring the deep-seated biases and attitudes about skin color---particularly dark skinned women, outside of and within the Black American culture.
XOXO Honey Bii
XOXO Honey Bii
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Communication
This is some candid advice that I have on communication in a relationship. Thanks for viewing.
Communication is the activity of conveying meaningful information. Communication requires a sender, a message, and an intended recipient, although the receiver need not be present or aware of the sender's intent to communicate at the time of communication; thus communication can occur across vast distances in time and space. Communication requires that the communicating parties share an area of communicative commonality. The communication process is complete once the receiver has understood the sender. -Wikipedia
Communication is the activity of conveying meaningful information. Communication requires a sender, a message, and an intended recipient, although the receiver need not be present or aware of the sender's intent to communicate at the time of communication; thus communication can occur across vast distances in time and space. Communication requires that the communicating parties share an area of communicative commonality. The communication process is complete once the receiver has understood the sender. -Wikipedia
XOXO Honey Bii
Monday, May 9, 2011
Elder's Advice
Here are 5 Universal Truth's that I know are true. Advice handed down from my elders.
XOXO Honey Bii
XOXO Honey Bii
Sunday, May 8, 2011
I Found Text Messages From Her Ex Lover
Hey Honey!
So me and my sweetie have been together for almost a year and it has been wonderful. I see true longevity here. I'm at the point of the relationship that trust and honesty need to be guaranteed if we're really going to do this for the long run. So what did I do, go through her phone. Yeah, I'm disappointed in my actions but its the guaranteed way to find out the real deal with your mate. Judge me later.
In her texts I found out that she has still been communicating with a "friend" of hers that she used to date. About a month ago we had an argument over this situation because I don't necessarily think its fair that she can be friends with someone she used to sleep with but would have a fit if I did the same thing. Now in all fairness I do know that they are just friends now, but I think its a respect thing too. I choose not to hang with any of my ex's or old Boos because I think it would be disrespectful. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but any time two people are intimate with one another, I think its rather difficult (not impossible) to go to a platonic relationship.
Any way back to the subject: So I found out that they're still talking but she told me she was going to stop communicating with her. (Although I didn't say she had to. this was her decision). Now I'm pissed because she lied to me. But I cant say anything because I was snooping in her phone. What to do HoneyBii. Help!
XOXO Honey Bii
Friday, April 22, 2011
Skipping colour!
Picture this!
You, black female or male, are in a relationship with someone who is also black. What if, you are breaking up, and your partner tells you this:
I DON'T THINK I WILL BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A BLACK MAN/WOMEN AGAIN!
Everyone is free to have their own opinion, to make their own choices, to love who they wanna love, but what would make this remark acceptable for you? Would this harm your self-esteem?
Share!
You, black female or male, are in a relationship with someone who is also black. What if, you are breaking up, and your partner tells you this:
I DON'T THINK I WILL BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A BLACK MAN/WOMEN AGAIN!
Everyone is free to have their own opinion, to make their own choices, to love who they wanna love, but what would make this remark acceptable for you? Would this harm your self-esteem?
Share!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I Want To Be A Soft Stud
Letter from a Bii-Liever
So, I would like to ask your opinion. I am 26, I have my degree and have traveled the world. I have never been in a relationship before and I am starting to come out of my shell. I have a couple of friends who are lesbians and over the past couple of months I have been hanging with them a lot. I have even met other girls through them who I hang out with outside of my core group of friends. Anyways, I am attracted to women, I always have been, but I cant seem to put myself out there. There's this one girl who is really popular amongst the gay community and we have talked on and off a couple of times and I asked her is she wanted to go out and she eagerly agreed, that was a couple of weeks ago and we still have not gone out and I just cant seem to get it together. And I'll see all these attractive women and we may exchange eye contact but Ill never approach them. I guess I should say that I would be more of the dominant one. I don't like classifications but if I had to classify myself it would be a soft stud, but not a tennis shoe and t shirt type, I'm a chino pants, loafers, fedora and a Ralph Lauren rugby cardigan and some fly ass Ralph Lauren shades type of chic lol. Okay back to it, I feel like everyone here knows everybody and I'm a low-key person, completely drama free and I do not want anyone in my business, which is why I think I haven't gone out with this girl. And when I meet other women out, its at a popular gay club where I live and to me its just too messy. I don't know if I'm being to particular or over thinking the situation, and I want to make a move but something in me is holding me back and all of my friends are telling me to just go for it. I don't know what to do or what I'm afraid of...I also have not talked to my family or other friends about this other life I live and I'm a very honest person and so I feel like I live a double and I hate it. I feel like I'm keeping secrets, but at the same time since I have not done anything with a female, I feel like there's nothing to tell....I mean what if I don't like it and its not for me, then why make something out of nothing, if I try it and it feels right, then I wont have a problem telling them, my family is very open and I don't think they'll be too surprised. Well enough ranting, but any feedback you give would be great.
XOXO Honey Bii
So, I would like to ask your opinion. I am 26, I have my degree and have traveled the world. I have never been in a relationship before and I am starting to come out of my shell. I have a couple of friends who are lesbians and over the past couple of months I have been hanging with them a lot. I have even met other girls through them who I hang out with outside of my core group of friends. Anyways, I am attracted to women, I always have been, but I cant seem to put myself out there. There's this one girl who is really popular amongst the gay community and we have talked on and off a couple of times and I asked her is she wanted to go out and she eagerly agreed, that was a couple of weeks ago and we still have not gone out and I just cant seem to get it together. And I'll see all these attractive women and we may exchange eye contact but Ill never approach them. I guess I should say that I would be more of the dominant one. I don't like classifications but if I had to classify myself it would be a soft stud, but not a tennis shoe and t shirt type, I'm a chino pants, loafers, fedora and a Ralph Lauren rugby cardigan and some fly ass Ralph Lauren shades type of chic lol. Okay back to it, I feel like everyone here knows everybody and I'm a low-key person, completely drama free and I do not want anyone in my business, which is why I think I haven't gone out with this girl. And when I meet other women out, its at a popular gay club where I live and to me its just too messy. I don't know if I'm being to particular or over thinking the situation, and I want to make a move but something in me is holding me back and all of my friends are telling me to just go for it. I don't know what to do or what I'm afraid of...I also have not talked to my family or other friends about this other life I live and I'm a very honest person and so I feel like I live a double and I hate it. I feel like I'm keeping secrets, but at the same time since I have not done anything with a female, I feel like there's nothing to tell....I mean what if I don't like it and its not for me, then why make something out of nothing, if I try it and it feels right, then I wont have a problem telling them, my family is very open and I don't think they'll be too surprised. Well enough ranting, but any feedback you give would be great.
XOXO Honey Bii
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Education 101: Studs 4 Studs Indepth Interview
Here is an amazing interview with Stud Slayer. This is her personal experience with dating "Stud" women. Note her comparison to Gay men. Pay attention to the positive message that everyone can relate to.
XOXO Honey Bii
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Is there LOVE after Herpes?
I'm a member of this page on Facebook called The Black Femmes, an openminded community. I daily check in to read about new topics, like questions etc. Today this one question got me thinking. Decided to share it with my (private) followers and hope some of you will share your thoughts on this! If you don't wanna do it in english, just write it in dutch (lol)...So here it comes
A woman was dating a man and after a year of NO SEX and dating, he told her he had HERPES. She wanted to know, what she should do because she was IN LOVE @ that point.
Question: what would you do if you where dating someone, and they told you that before sex? Would you still be with them?
Question: what would you do if you where dating someone, and they told you that before sex? Would you still be with them?
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Inbox Questions from Bii-Lievers: From Bi to Lesbian
This was inspired from one of my Bii-Lievers. Here is our conversation.
Dear Honey Bii,
This is my situation. I've been actively bisexual for about 6 years now. As Ive said before, I see myself becoming lesbian...and if I do so, then I want to inform my family. Only a few know about my bisexuality, because I've always felt like what i do behind closed doors is my business. But I'm in a new relationship, and refuse to hide her. My father is very religious, and I'm not sure how he will feel, and honestly I don't care too much. I just would like some advice on how to just put everything out there..HELP ME HONEY!!
XOXO Honey Bii
Thank you so much for following my blog!
Bii-Liever:
U are very much welcome...to be honest I need your blogs lol..Im slowly making the transformation from bi to lesbian
GET IT GIRL! More power to you.
Bii-Liever
Thanks babe! So ill be watching, taking notes, laughing and crying right along with u and your other followers..keep up the hard work!
BTW you just inspired me to do an upcoming post titled, "From Bi to Lesbian"!
Bii-Liever:
I LOVE IT!!!!
This is my situation. I've been actively bisexual for about 6 years now. As Ive said before, I see myself becoming lesbian...and if I do so, then I want to inform my family. Only a few know about my bisexuality, because I've always felt like what i do behind closed doors is my business. But I'm in a new relationship, and refuse to hide her. My father is very religious, and I'm not sure how he will feel, and honestly I don't care too much. I just would like some advice on how to just put everything out there..HELP ME HONEY!!
XOXO Honey Bii
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Pay It Forward
This one is so inspiring. It is a message for everyone to pay attention to. Share it with everyone that will listen.
XOXO Honey Bii
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Inbox Questions from Bii-Lievers: Pillow Princess
Letter from Bii-Liever:
Hi Honey!!!
First let me say that I really enjoy your youtube channel and your blog! I have a question/need some advice! I am a female who recently started dating females. I've really only dated 3 women seriously. Most people would consider the woman I am dating right now a stud. We've been dating for about a month and a half. She is fresh out of a relationship and we've already discussed the fact that she is not ready to be in another one. I'm ok with how things are going right now, but am unsure how long it will last. (That's another story) We enjoy eachothers company and the sex is wonderful, but since I'm a "newbie" she has taken it upon herself to "do all of the work". She has never been with a man and has no interest in being penetrated, I toally respect that. However, she is into receiving oral pleasure....ok....I've never done it...help!!! I have no idea where to start, porn isn't helping, I don't really have any one to ask. When I try to ask her she says "just do what I do to you, without sticking ur fingers or tongue in me"...ummmmmmmm what?
Help meeeeeee!
Hi Honey!!!
First let me say that I really enjoy your youtube channel and your blog! I have a question/need some advice! I am a female who recently started dating females. I've really only dated 3 women seriously. Most people would consider the woman I am dating right now a stud. We've been dating for about a month and a half. She is fresh out of a relationship and we've already discussed the fact that she is not ready to be in another one. I'm ok with how things are going right now, but am unsure how long it will last. (That's another story) We enjoy eachothers company and the sex is wonderful, but since I'm a "newbie" she has taken it upon herself to "do all of the work". She has never been with a man and has no interest in being penetrated, I toally respect that. However, she is into receiving oral pleasure....ok....I've never done it...help!!! I have no idea where to start, porn isn't helping, I don't really have any one to ask. When I try to ask her she says "just do what I do to you, without sticking ur fingers or tongue in me"...ummmmmmmm what?
Help meeeeeee!
Monday, April 11, 2011
She Go's To Gay Clubs
This is Renata's view on why she prefers to go to gay clubs. Enjoy.
XOXO Honey Bii
XOXO Honey Bii
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